When I planned out the course of this three-part blog series, I knew the third point to a happy and successful life would be: Confidence. I mean I knew first hand that confidence had been a key to what I call successes in my life so far.
Over the course of the weekend, I found myself spending a lot time to myself and reading about the human connection.
I noticed whenever I'd go on dry spells without socializing, I would begin to feel sad. Depressed even. Do you get that way too? And this wasn't the first time I'd felt this way. I traced back my week to find the mystery of why this happened. Had I gone to the gym? Did my husband and I spent time together? How about the people I see everyday (my clients, people at the store, on the beach)?
I wasn't isolating myself, okay well maybe a little. The internet sucks you in! But I wasn't a hermit in my home. I interacted and saw people every day. So what was happening for me to feel lonely?
I thought about my interactions, what I was getting from them, and how they made me feel. I came to a conclusion that would change my perspective forever.
There's a difference between being with people and connecting with people.
I'm with people all the time, you say. Heck, there's 20 of us at my fitness class. But did you talk to them? Did you feel understood? And just as importantly; did you make them feel understood. We are driving on a two-way street over here!
I thought about my day to day life. Was I talking and maintaining conversations through casual interactions? Yes. But was it a meaningful conversation and did I feel listened to?
There is a lot to be said about the human connection and lack of it. In a psychological study done by Harry Harlow, he found that when presented with a choice, baby monkeys prefer the touch of their mother to food. Food! At first thought I'd take a delicious In-n-Out burger over a hug.
Until I wouldn't.
If we were to be deprived of food or touch, the monkey we would go directly towards touch! So why don't we make touch, or connection, a top three priority in our life?
If you are feeling out of touch with the world or feel misunderstood, I get it. It's not easy to get our head out of that rut. Sometimes I feel like I need some direction (actually, more like a world map).
In my reflection I put together a checklist to act as a first-step map to help me get through the rut phase into some action. I knew that once I got myself out there I would have a clearer conscious to focus on a larger plan. I am including this check-in in this week's newsletter! If you have joined, keep your eye out for it. If you are not yet a part of our newsletter, sign up! You will also get a 15% coupon to our boutique. Whoohoo!
In our www dot social media world, there is less real life/human connection than ever before. In line at Trader Joe's? Get on your phone. At a red light driving home? On your phone. At dinner with your friends? On your phone.
Connecting with people means looking up, looking at them, listening, and responding with non-judgement. If it seems like this is hard to find, why not start with yourself? What can you do today to listen to someone? You may find connection or more, a friendship.